Tough Career Decision? Find People Who Have Already Made the Choice

It doesn't matter what career stage you're in, making decisions about what comes next for you can be a challenging, lonely experience.

I've noticed that this is the case for many of my clients. Logically, they know they're not the first or the only person to ever face the career choice that's in front of them. But from the way they talk, it sure sounds like they are. I usually hear things like, "I'm totally lost" or "I don't even know where to start" and "Have you ever heard this before?"

Do these sound familiar? If so, I have a few thoughts that could make the career decision-making process feel just a little less lonely.

You're not the first person to ever face this choice

Granted, some people are the first to do what they're considering. Sometimes there isn't someone who has walked the path before you, and you just may have to go with your gut. And each person has a unique life experience and a unique set of circumstances to consider. But many career choices at their most elemental are ones other people have already faced in the past. Many times.

Here are a few examples that, in one way or another, come up often in coaching sessions:

• Role: Do I want to be in marketing or business development? Do I want to be a consultant or a client?
• Industry: Do I want to work in a B2B business or a B2C business? Do I want to work on a consumer product or a service?
• Culture: Will I be comfortable working in a fast-paced, aggressive environment or one that's more measured, thoughtful and supportive?
• Geography: Can I be happy living in a city that is far from my family and closest friends?
• Path: Will taking a sabbatical or "trying something new" damage my career prospects if I want to someday return to my industry?

Of course, there might be other types of choices and other categories, but a career decision typically involves a choice or set of choices that many other people have probably had to consider in the past.
 

So why try to figure it out on your own?

If you're facing a tough choice like any of the ones I've described above, clarity won't necessarily come by endlessly examining the question in your own mind. It's likely to come through conversations with other people. That's one of the basic ideas behind my coaching practice and coaching in general.

Who you choose to talk to is important. As a coach who works every day with people making choices like the ones I've described, I can provide perspective based on what I've seen and heard. But it's not the same as having an opportunity to talk with someone who has already considered and made the choice you might be about to make.

Talk to someone who has already made it

So if you have a tough choice or set of choices to make, you'll be best served by finding someone who has already considered and made the choice or choices you're facing. That person is already on the path you're considering for your career and life — and they can tell you what it's like. They probably did some or most of the research that you're thinking about doing. And they've also probably had some of the conversations you're planning to have.

If you can find someone who's already done all the hard work and research, why not tap into that knowledge? It could be a time saver. Just be sure you check in with a few people to get multiple perspectives. You probably do just that when it comes to other challenges in your life. 

Find people who have already figured things out and who are willing to tell you about it.

Let's say you have a garden and have harvested a pile of rhubarb. You aren't quite sure what to do with it. (Cough, cough.) What do you do? You probably find someone who has already come face to face with a pile of rhubarb and has actually figured out what to do with it.

Where do you find that person? YouTube, Google, a cookbook? You probably check all of them so that you can make a more informed decision about what to do with the rhubarb you have.

But that's cooking (and my garden) and not your career. The point is — find people who have already figured things out and who are willing to share their experience.

If you don't know the right people, find them

So where do you look to find someone who has already faced the career or life decision you're considering if no one obvious comes to mind? Of course, if you have friends, colleagues or acquaintances who have the experience you're seeking, that's great. You know where to go.

Otherwise, LinkedIn would be a good place to start. Let's say, for example, that you're thinking of transitioning from management consulting to working at Apple or Microsoft. You might search LinkedIn for people at Apple who previously worked at your consulting firm or one like it within the past couple to a few years. You'll have some common history, and you'll also have considered the same career option. The only difference is that the person who appears in your search results on LinkedIn has already done the research, thought it through, made the decision, and lived it. And they can tell you about it.

All you have to do is reach out and ask.

If you take this approach, you may face a little rejection here and there. That's true. But most people are flattered when you reach out and just want to hear about their experience. In general, people like to talk about themselves. They do.

Ask a consistent set of questions and compare answers

Once you've been able to get a few people (or more) to share their experience and decision-making process with you, be sure to ask roughly the same set of questions of each one. Have your questions written down somewhere. Take good notes. Compare the responses you get. If you're a marketer or consultant, you know that what I'm describing is best practice.

So what might you ask your new contacts once you get to speak with them? Here are a few questions that you can supplement with your own.

• What were the most important considerations that led to your decision to [take this role, choose this industry, work at this company, move to this city]?
• Have things turned out as you expected?
• If you were facing the decision again, would you make the same choice?
• If you weren't doing what you're doing now, where do you think you'd be?

Conclusion

Making career and life decisions doesn't have to be so hard or leave you feeling so lonely. You're likely not the first person to ever face the particular decision or set of decisions that are before you.

Make things a little easier on yourself and save some time in the process.

1. Find someone who is a step ahead of you on a path that you're considering.
2. If no one comes to mind right away, try searching on LinkedIn for someone who has made the choice you're considering and also has something in common with you, like a past role, compay or educational institution.
3. Point out your common backgrounds and career paths, and ask if they'd be willing to talk about their experience.
4. Use a consistent set of questions for the conversations you have, take good notes, and compare your notes across conversations.

You'll probably feel less alone because you'll have connected with others who have struggled with the same questions. And with a little luck and skill, you'll also have the information and insight you need to be more confident in arriving at whatever career and life decisions you make.

If you need help figuring out what your career options even are, consider signing up for coaching. You'll get some needed clarity and will be ready to take the next steps to move forward.